Christmas on COP Copper, from '08 10:09 PM

I wrote this four years ago during my second tour in Iraq. I find it more amusing than embarrassing, so, submitted for your entertainment:

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the COP,
Not a Soldier was stirring, not even Top,
Oh, except for the Ugandans on guard in their towers,
And the Soldiers on the gunline, playing Xbox for hours,
I in my PT's and Smoke in his rack,
Had just settled down for another night in Iraq,
When all of a sudden there arose such a ruckus,
Whatever was wrong, I knew it would probably....
I burst out of my connex to see what was the matter,
When a pile of charred venison landed with a splatter,
"You killed Rudolph, you bastards!" Screamed a corpulent elf,
And I knew right away it was time to get help,
"Smoke!," I cried, "Santa's reindeer just exploded!"
"Oh, great," he said, "the gun wasn't supposed to be loaded,
"When I left they were practicing a dry-fire mission,"
"Oh, crap," I said, "can't wait for the 15-6 on this one!"
It seemed Santa's sleigh and the reindeer he was reigning,
Had just now given my Bravos some direct fire training,
I pulled out my claims card for consequence management,
And Smoke, in a low voice, offered optimistic sentiment,
"If you think about it, sir, it's good in a sense,
"We've done FA and Infantry, and now Air Defense!"
"Smoke, you're not helping," I said, as Santa started to twitch,
I could see he was thinking about where to cram the switch,
"I can't believe you jerks," Santa said in a fury,
"Rudolph was my only night-vision, and I'm in a hurry!"
"Santa," I said, as polite as could be,
"We'll figure this out at our FDC,"
"Please stay calm, and hold the switches and coal,
"I promise we'll find a way to get you out of this hole,"
We rushed to the AFATDS, to see what to do,
Me and Smoke, and Jolly Saint Nick too,
"I've got it," Smoke said, "I know how you can resume!
"Our guns will light your way, with coordinated illum!"
In two minute intervals M485 lit the night,
As Bravo Battery got Santa back in the fight,
"I'll let this one slide," he said, as he climbed on his sleigh,
"Just learn the difference between 'ready' and 'laid.'"
We watched his sleigh soar through the black desert sky,
And finally we breathed a sigh of relief, Smoke and I,
Santa's voice filled the air, over his sleigh bells' rattle,
"Merry Christmas to All, and All Hail the King of Battle!"

Merry Christmas 9:59 PM

As we come to the close of the Advent Season, I realize I have very little profound to say (well, very little relative to my normal output). I know you're all relieved :)

To my brothers and sisters in Christ; Rejoice! Emmanuel has come to ransom captive Israel.

It has been a hard year, not one given to optimism. I lose sleep over many of the problems facing our nation and often they appear insurmountable to me. But our hope rests in Him. We cannot know the hour or the day, and we can, unfortunately, be assured that many troubles lie between, but the end game is written. A light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

To my friends and loved ones who believe differently or not at all, I hope the holiday has given you respite and edification. Though you don't share my religious beliefs, do take comfort in the fact that you are where you are, doing the best you can, and that there are millions of good, decent people like you doing the best they can. Civilization will suffer setbacks, even cataclysmic defeats. Odovacer will overthrow Rome, the library at Alexandria will burn, and it will most likely remain illegal to shoot Westborough Baptists (damn it all), but the human race will continue to strive and achieve. The drive to create something better than the barbarism from which we all spring can be frustrated, but it cannot be destroyed.

Keep up the good fight. Whatever difference of opinion you may have with me, religious, political, whatever, we would not be friends if I didn't consider you in some way an ally in the long struggle to ensure civilization triumphs over savagery.


To Kellen, and all my other comrades spending their Christmas on the front lines of a war that most of our countrymen are all too eager to put behind them, God bless you. I get to spend this one with my family, but I'm thinking about you and praying for you. May the Lord protect and defend you.

Merry Christmas to all.

The Christmas Pyramid 6:39 AM

If Ramses had been more interested in Holiday Cheer, this is what the pyramids might have looked like.

My wife spoils me in general, but when I'm not around it's even more pronounced because I'm not leaving my boots in the hallway or forgetting to do the dishes and all she remembers about me is the good stuff. That's why you will count no less than thirteen presents in that stack- from my wife alone. It's a good thing I didn't get any from anyone else because I already have more than both of my roommates combined and I feel a little embarassed- but not embarassed enough to give any away.

It looks like mostly books and movies, two of my favorite things. I'll be back tomorrow with a report on my haul :)

Hope everyone else is having a Merry Christmas!

T'was The Night Before Christmas 11:33 PM

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the COP,
Not a Soldier was stirring, not even Top,
Oh, except for the Ugandans on guard in their towers,
And the Soldiers on the gunline, playing Xbox for hours,
I in my PT's and Smoke in his rack,
Had just settled down for another night in Iraq,
When all of a sudden there arose such a ruckus,
Whatever was wrong, I knew it would probably....
I burst out of my connex to see what was the matter,
When a pile of charred venison landed with a splatter,
"You killed Rudolph, you bastards!" Screamed a corpulent elf,
And I knew right away it was time to get help,
"Smoke!," I cried, "Santa's reindeer just exploded!"
"Oh, great," he said, "the gun wasn't supposed to be loaded,
"When I left they were practicing a dry-fire mission,"
"Oh, crap," I said, "can't wait for the 15-6 on this one!"
It seemed Santa's sleigh and the reindeer he was reigning,
Had just now given my Bravos some direct fire training,
I pulled out my claims card for consequence management,
And Smoke, in a low voice, offered optimistic sentiment,
"If you think about it, sir, it's good in a sense,
"We've done FA and Infantry, and now Air Defense!"
"Smoke, you're not helping," I said, as Santa started to twitch,
I could see he was thinking about where to cram the switch,
"I can't believe you jerks," Santa said in a fury,
"Rudolph was my only night-vision, and I'm in a hurry!"
"Santa," I said, as polite as could be,
"We'll figure this out at our FDC,"
"Please stay calm, and hold the switches and coal,
"I promise we'll find a way to get you out of this hole,"
We rushed to the AFATDS, to see what to do,
Me and Smoke, and Jolly Saint Nick too,
"I've got it," Smoke said, "I know how you can resume!
"Our guns will light your way, with coordinated illum!"
In two minute intervals M485 lit the night,
As Bravo Battery got Santa back in the fight,
"I'll let this one slide," he said, as he climbed on his sleigh,
"Just learn the difference between 'ready' and 'laid.'"
We watched his sleigh soar through the black desert sky,
And finally we breathed a sigh of relief, Smoke and I,
Santa's voice filled the air, over his sleigh bells' rattle,
"Merry Christmas to All, and All Hail the King of Battle!"