Sunday, August 9, 2015

I realize it's been awhile since I've done a Geek List, and a friendly debate over on our friend Sam​'s wall gave me an idea. So, here it is- every Star Trek movie from best to worst. Disagree? Bring it on, nerd-boys.

1. The Wrath of Khan
2. The Undiscovered Country
3. First Contact
4. The Search for Spock
5. The Voyage Home
6. Generations
7. Star Trek the Motion Picture
8. Star Trek '09
9. The Final Frontier
10. Into Darkness
11. Insurrection
12. Nemesis

I like and frequently re-watch everything down to #5. #6-8 all have redeeming qualities, though they aren't great in my opinion. 9-12 are just about completely schlock and I only watch them when I'm feeling OCD completist or sadomasochistic.

Bonus Content! The Star Trek Series from best to worst:

1. The Original Series
2. Deep Space Nine
3. The Next Generation
4. The Animated Series
5. Voyager
6. Enterprise

The original always maintains it's place in my heart. The effects haven't aged well, and probably weren't great even at the time, and Lord knows it's melodramatic and absurd frequently, but the dynamic of the big three and the fact that it was an optimistic view of the future without quite as much socialist utopianism in it keep it fresh for me. Also, this version of Starfleet has "General Order 27," which, if invoked, triggers a starship to sterilize a planet of all life. Not only do they consider it a viable military option- they have goddamn General Order for it! Quite a shout from Picard's, "Starfleet is not a mil-ih-tar-y organization."

Deep Space Nine and Babylon 5 really introduced the idea of extended story arcs for American Science Fiction television. DS9 explored more thoroughly the theme of a ultra-enlightened utopia having to survive against opponents who do not share their sentiments. As a result, Sisko was a deeper and more complex character than the other captains. See the season six episode, "In the Pale Moonlight," for evidence.

Next Gen comes right in the middle of the list. The crew of the Enterprise D get full marks for many things, reviving the franchise, for one, sticking the landing with, unquestionably, the best series finale of the lot for another. But Picard, brilliant as Patrick Stewart may be, is boring and predictable next to either James T. Kirk or Benjamin Sisko. And aside from Picard the cast is kinda, meh, except for Data.

The Animated Series is basically the Original Series. It surrenders two positions because the animation is 70s filmation (note the similarities to He-Man if you watch it in both visuals and sound effects) and because to fit Star Trek style philosophizing into a half-hour package, well, they're incredibly talky, dense cartoons. I like 'em, but I can't honestly recommend them to someone who isn't already pretty in love with Trek.

Voyager, so much potential squandered. By the mid point of the season the only interesting characters were a well-endowed former Borg drone and the holographic doctor. And yes, some of their episodes were entertaining, thought provoking and hilarious, but when the camera wasn't on them, I was bored out of my mind.

Enterprise. I have tried to watch Enterprise on four separate occasions and failed to get through the first season each time. I keep hearing that the last two season are better, except the finale, but the opening sucks so hard I've never gotten to them.


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